How many unnecessary conversations do we have in a day? Have you ever said something and wished you had not? Have you ever put your foot in your mouth? Have you ever spoke too soon without all of the facts?
We talk a lot! If that’s too in your face, I’ll admit it personally. I talk a lot. I’m very thankful that as I continue to grow as a person and develop as a leader, I am very aware that I am talking a lot less now. A few years ago, I read Proverbs 10: 19 and it hit me like a ton of bricks!
“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (NKJV)
Try this translation (New Living Translation)
“Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.“
There you have it! It is almost impossible to not to change how you operate on a daily basis as you read and digest a verse like this one. The Word of God has that effect on those who are committed to living out this faith every day. So, immediately, I started my journey on eliminating unnecessary talk and conversation. There were about 4 things that I did immediately to help along this journey to “eliminate unnecessary talk”
- And it really starts with an easy question. Before you speak, the essential question is: “Is this necessary?” In essence, I started living by James 1: 19. As I did this, I would ask questions like these:
- Is expressing my opinion right now “necessary”?
- Is publicly sharing my position on this issue “necessary”?
- Is airing my disagreement with someone’s behavior right now “necessary”?
- Is responding right now “necessary”?
- Is this an issue that I need to be involved in “necessary”?
- I have relied more on the Holy Spirit’s help. It is also very clear to me that believes have an added “Help” that maybe others may not have. I have tried simply hoping to have enough self-discipline to stay above the fray and resist commenting. But it’s clear that without the Holy Spirit’s help, it is impossible! (Read James 3: 8) So this journey not only must include an awareness of the power of your tongue, but also a total reliance on the Holy Spirit.
- One of the other things that I’ve done, is a pretty thorough search of scriptures on the mouth and talking. More knowledge doesn’t necessarily increase active faith. Applying that knowledge is what increases and improves your faith walk. So, I increase the knowledge so that I can apply it. Here are some scriptures that I found: Proverbs 18: 2; Proverbs 21: 23; Proverbs 26: 20; Psalms 19: 14; Ephesians 4: 29; 2 Timothy 2: 16; Psalm 141: 3.
- The last element in my journey of talking less has included becoming comfortable with the silence. Have you ever walked in a room and after having expressed your greetings and other pleasantries, felt awkward because no one was saying anything? Man, that’s VERY weird. BUT, sometimes the weirdness should be embraced! Sometimes the power of your presence is just that, powerful. There isn’t the need to always include words in that presence and the sooner that we figure that out, the sooner we’ll be asked to speak.
Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco states in The Female Brain that “A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.”
I haven’t actually read the study in depth, but if it’s true, I’m setting a personal goal to decrease my word count to about 2500-4000 meaningful, purposeful, and concise words. Can you imagine what will happen if everyone in the world only spoke ON PURPOSE. That is, that your conversations have a point and a purpose.
I don’t know where you are on your talk journey, but hopefully your conversations have a point and are ON purpose. If not, you’re welcome to join me on the journey. You want to talk about it? (smile!)
Join me for Part 2 as I talk about Unnecessary Thoughts on Wednesday